I like to tell my stories, but I do not like to tell them literally. I want to evoke curiosities.
These stories are reflections on the biggest emotional turning points in my life. As a PTSD sufferer many of my paintings contain elements of my past and symbolisms from my own memories. First, I use the raw side of the canvas, then gradually I build the layers of medium and paints on top of one another to achieve the final outcome. With each painting I sew my name in with a hand-dyed red string, which is to seal and mend this chapter of my life. The act of this art-making process represents the philosophy of my life.
The way I perceive certain flowers or animals kindle certain emotions in me. I then use those feelings to create my own interpretation of my life’s experiences. The experiences I paint from are mostly very unhappy and somewhat sad, but I never consider my experiences to be unhappy and sad. For me, all experiences are beautiful and by painting them I am at peace with those experiences. Hence, the immediate feeling of my paintings shouldn’t make the viewers sad, but more, at peace.
All of my memories are to some degree blurry, like a dream. As a result, the real world elements in my paintings are placed on the canvas in an effort to create feelings that are surreal and dreamlike. Such as the fish that playfully swim around a peace lily plant.
The Peace Lily Playground series represents one of the earliest moments in my life as a young child. It paints a turning point my young child life where the world was no longer so small and confined to school and family. My perception of the world, which was not very happy, was broadened by encountering a little boy who is represented as the goldfish in the painting. Peace lily for me represents home, which also equates to where I find peace and calmness. I also relate the sense of purification with the plants.